The Qualities of Politicians

As many of you will know, the prime qualification required of those who aspire to be politicians is a willingness to stand up in public and talk at length on subjects about which he or she knows absolutely nothing. It helps if you can sound convincing. Many politicians are OK in this respect since they are always very good at believing their own propaganda. Many are the ministers who have been persuaded that versions of events manufactured by their spin departments are in fact real truth. These qualities are universal. But some politicians possess additional qualities - I ignore the possibility of real knowledge - such as those of stand-up comedians. This was demonstrated by the reports that have reached us of the antics of Victor Chernomyrdin, the Russian Ambassador to Ukraine who has got into trouble by describing the feuding leaders of Ukraine as "at each other like dogs, slamming one another." This, to say the least, is regarded as quite unacceptable language and the Foreign Ministry in Kiev is threatening to expel Mr Chernomyrdin. You may feel it is not right to use this gentleman as an example of politicians, since, surely, he is merely a diplomat - albeit a very undiplomatic one. Well, no he is not. For those who have forgotten, he was Prime Minister of Russia from 1992 until 1998, working closely with the sometimes eccentric Boris Yeltsin. At that time Mr Chernomyrdin gave us many sound bites that lead to total darkness in a way that even George Bush would have been proud of. Not one to be put off by a financial crisis he told the world in 1998 that "There was a State; the State retained; the State began to accumulate; results began to be had." What does it mean? Summarising is time in office it is clear that he knew where he had been going during those six years. "If one considers what could have been done and then what we did do over this long time, one can conclude that something was done." We probably couldn't argue with that. But his most famous utterance was "We wanted the Best but it tuned out like it always does." Ah, there are many politicians whose careers have reached the same crowning heights.

Mr Chernomyrdin has brought his ability to see the situation clearly to his present job in Ukraine and it is recorded that he has said. "It has never been like this and now it is exactly the same again." It would be a pity if this entertaining man were to be sacked from his present job and his many talents lost to international politics.