Laughing All The Way To Work

Last week, the cops stopped someone who was caught laughing while driving his car. It seems that this unapologetic reprobate, this threat to all things we hold dear, this potentially murderous driver was talking to someone on his in-car, hands-free phone and some remark by his communicant had caused him to instigate an uncontrolled vibration of the facial muscles. Driving to work through the Mersey Tunnel on Wednesday morning, Gary Sanders, MD of Spontex Workwear was pulled over and told that laughing could be a criminal offence. In addition he had been spotted throwing his head back in a dangerous way. Did he think that he was a model in a shampoo advert? Clearly, the officer thought so and asked Mr Sanders the colour of his hair. I am losing the plot here. Was Mr Sanders wearing a hat? Did it cover every part of his head? His appearance is starting to seem bizarre. Mr Sanders explained that he did not have any hair because he suffered from alopecia [baldness]. "Ah, but what colour was it when you had some hair?" Extraordinary. Was he by any chance an illegal redhead? Quite rightly, the cops were treating the matter with more seriousness than it deserved and cross-questioned Mr Sanders for 35 minutes, causing him to be late for an appointment. Mr Sanders was also told to produce all his documents at a police station within 7 days. Presumably he was up-to-date with his laughing licence. There are, of course, many issues here. The cops would need to check that the man was not laughing hysterically at the latest news of the credit crunch and was about to have a complete nervous breakdown, thus rendering him totally unfit to drive. Was his a sinister laugh in the style of Vincent Price as he ran over in his mind some devilish plot to torture some unsuspecting Innocent? There are so many reasons why Gary Sanders could have been laughing in a potentially dangerous manner and we have to complement these zealous police officers on their vigilance.

On the other hand you may just think that they were mad, officious and bullying. Is it any wonder that the cops are often held in low esteem?