Olympian Problems

Well, today there were two good sporting stories; both were good because they were filled with interesting facts. They were less good as records of modern life.
The first story was the dramatic day at Old Trafford where Manchester United played Arsenal in a match of records. MU won by 8 - 2. This is one of the biggest ever goal tallies ever achieved in the Premier League and Arsenal have not let in 8 goals in a match since 1896 - just before the era of Arsene Wenger - when they were defeated by Loughborough in Division II. Arsene Wenger is an old misery guts at the best of times but after this disaster he has something to be miserable about and his job is going to be threatened, no matter how good his past record. This season has started so badly for Arsenal that it is possible to be almost sympathetic. They have lost two key players who wanted to leave and some of their star players are suspended or injured. So Old Misery Guts Clouseau has played with a much weakened side. AW says that he is trying to sign new players before the transfer window closes on 31st August and he certainly needs some. One of these is Gary Cahill from Bolton. Bolton don't want to sell him — I think — you can never be sure of anything in these times. He is a good player and Bolton need him but. on the basis of today's disaster, Arsenal's need is greater. But while AW is searching for strikers, it was his defence that spearheaded the disaster. We could blame the young goal keeper, Szczesny — this going to look bad on his CV — who had a torrid time but the primary problems were very poor defence and discipline. Arsenal have had a player sent off in every one of their league fixtures so far this season and it could be argued that today that they were lucky only to receive one dismissal. Many times when MU attacked the Arsenal defence was nowhere to be seen. They may be young players but presumably they were signed up because it was thought that they had talent. It always amazes me that teams fail on the fundamentals. Maybe the Arsenal defence is not good enough to stop Wayne Rooney but they should not be giving away penalties and they should be in the right area when the opposition are attacking. When Crawley Town played MU in the FA Cup they played with total commitment, ran around the field like terriers, trying to win from the kick off and only lost 1-0. It was argued by many that they deserved a draw at least and even Alex Ferguson was very complimentary. But this Arsenal team seemed completely lost, they were so outplayed.
Alex Ferguson has been defending AW's record as a manager, which is right, but surely times are getting bad when AW has the sympathy of Alex Ferguson? AW is having his problems at the moment but he has done a wonderful job at Arsenal over 15 years and he deserves to be allowed the time to sort out this current problem. But that time is running out fast.
MU, on the other hand played a blinder. On this form there is no team in England going to stop them and they will have a very good chance of going all the way in Europe. Wayne Rooney scored his 150th goal for MU and, at 26, we can expect many more in the years ahead. He went on to score a hat-trick and all were scored with the consummate ease of a top professional at the peak of his powers. I don't like Wayne Rooney much as a human-being but he does know how to play football. Even MU do not beat teams by scoring 8 goals very often but today they gave a masterclass of how to play football.
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The second item I want to comment on, concerns [again] the ludicrous expenditure on the London Olympic Games. Nothing will persuade me that we should ever have involved ourselves in this ridiculous extravaganza, but as the bills pile up, the newspapers are now reporting the lavish excess that is to be poured upon the Olympic bureaucracy. And it is a truly Olympian bureaucracy. All officials, especially those at the top, are to be looked after — every one of them — like manic dictators in tin-pot republics who are feted in obscene wealth and grandeur that tries to match their overblown beliefs in their own importance. All these ridiculous men — and they are largely men — will be housed in the most expensive luxury in the most expensive hotels in Central London; they will be provided with chauffeur driven limousines travelling in special lanes on the roads to the Olympic Stadiums, so they do not get held up by plebs trying to fight their way to work in the middle of this needless Olympic congestion; there will be no right turns allowed across their paths; traffic lights will be controlled so that they never have to stop — this electronic modification alone is costing us £12,000,000. These ridiculous men should be made to suffer the traffic just like anyone else. They could have stayed in perfectly acceptable hotels around Canary Wharf, which would have allowed them to get to the stadiums quite easily — they could even have walked. There are 86,000 of these officials and supporting sponsors from Coca Cola and the like who will be given this absurd treatment — all at our expense. The list even includes Sepp Blatter of UEFA and his cohorts. What have they to do with the Olympic Games? Football at the Olympics is a pretty minor activity. All of this rubbish is apparently written into the terms and conditions of the contract we signed when we got the games — it was even written into the enquiry document against which we bid.
The absurdity does not end here with their thousands of petty plutocrats, bureaucrats and hangers-on being ferried around London. No! We have to make it clear that none of this applies to the athletes. They will have to travel by bus or on their bikes.
As Richard Littlejohn is prone to say — you can't make it up!
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