Everybody is in Canada this week-end - except, of course, those in South Africa watching football. When I say everybody, I mean the chattering and waffling classes. They are all there for the G8 and G20 summits. Why do we [they?] need two meetings? Not only that, the meetings are being held 130 miles apart. In these days of terrorism the security implications of having one set of meetings in Huntsville [G8] and then moving all the players in this group to the following G20 meeting in Toronto will be quite serious. The Canadians have shut down Huntsville completely and banned everybody except the delegates from going there. I suppose that if we have to have two meetings at least we will only have to pay once, I hope. I am slightly sceptical since I am sure there is a Sir Humphrey Appleby somewhere who can explain to me why we have to pay twice. Actually, for the conferences, it's the Canadians who have to pay and I have just read that this extravaganza is costing them $1,000,000,000. This is a staggering some of money. Much of it is for security, of course, and surely this is not helped by having two venues. In addition the government has spent money on a fake lake to impress the visitors and this small fake lake is only a few miles away from Lake Ontario - a stretch of water that covers some 7,500 square miles. The problem with all these vast conferences is that too many people attend - hence the potential for achieving anything meaningful is minimized - and the host government sees it a virility test. Only a real He-man country could spend on this vast scale, it seems to suggest. It may be better to assume that it is driven by some politician's belief in his own greatness.
Another thought that meanders its way through my mind is that the attendees at the G20 who are not allowed to attend the G8 may feel slighted. Surely, they will feel that the G8 will organise a secretive stitch-up before getting them involved. And David Cameron is having a meeting "on the edge" to discuss Afghanistan with President Obama. What that will bring is anybody's guess. Both leaders, whatever we think of them in their jobs, have been lumbered by Bush and Blair. Somehow they have to cobble together an exit strategy that doesn't look like too serious a defeat. But whatever, the killing of our young men must stop. Another worrying thing is that recently sacked General McChrystal may have been right about the uselessness of the White House staff responsible for running this war.
But with all this going on and the football and the cricket - England have beaten Australia twice so far this week - and the tennis at Wimbledon that produced the most extraordinary game of tennis in history, when John Isner beat Nicolas Mahut 6-4, 3-6, 6-7, 7-6, 70-68 in a game that lasted for more than 11 hours and smashed every record in the book for marathon games, you may have missed the story of the week. Thieves in South Africa broke into a police station and stole everything - desks, tables, chairs, cupboards, doors and, yes, even the kitchen sink. I believe that this can only be a serious embarrassment to the police The police station at Carletonville, west of Johannesburg was being refitted and was being guarded by a private security company. I think they may well struggle to get a recommendation from a fully satisfied customer for their efforts on this job. The Department of Public Works had "failed taxpayers" said an opposition spokesman. The government minister concerned said that he was still gathering the facts - no mention of the furniture. At least the police will not have to travel very far when they set up their scene of crime offices.
As Richard Littlejohn would say as he highlights UK police failings, "Mind how you go!"
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