These days we are quite used to reading about daft bits of research that, after months of work and the expenditure of much public money, tell us the blindingly obvious. But yesterday, I read of some bit of research, which told me something it was almost impossible to know. Stonehenge is worth £51,000,000. Who says so? Estate agents, that's who. On what basis have they valued it? It's a bit tatty but there are few structures on this planet erected by humans that have survived for over 4,000 years in any condition at all. The survey of estate agents by findmeaproperty.com set to find out what they thought various iconic buildings were worth. The publishers of the survey said there was a surprising agreement on the value of Stonehenge. Now, estate agents are normally required to value buildings as potential homes. On this basis, Stonehenge cannot be considered a good buy since it has obvious weaknesses as a place to live. The structure is Grade I listed so any attempts to modernise and install an Ikea kitchen [for example] would come up against some pretty formidable obstacles; and we will gloss over the matter of weatherproofing and new damp proofing. It has panoramic views across Salisbury Plain, spoiled only by the damn great car park near by. So, on what basis did they value it? As an asset [like a Picasso painting]? Possibly, but it could not be easily moved - does it go with all the other associated megalithic monuments? As a business? This makes more sense. It generates about £6 million per year in revenues and with a bit of smart marketing, this could easily be doubled. Can we persuade Sir Richard Branson to buy it and make it Virgin Stonehenge? A few banners and some promotional balloon ascents should stir things up a bit. Will they allow Branson to be Chief Druid - after all he would look the part when wearing the ceremonial robes.
This same survey has suggested that 10 Downing Street is worth £5.2 million and Windsor Castle, a snip at, £391 million. Admittedly, these are more des-res but Downing Street seems a bit low - although you never know who might be living next door and there's not much privacy.
In these straightened times, has the valuation been done as a first step to selling them all to the highest bidder to help pay off the national debt? The Queen could manage without Windsor - she still has a few other castles and houses to live in.
As is well-known, privatisation is more efficient than public ownership so who can tell what dramatic improvements could come from selling off all this old stuff, thus providing us with the cash to keep some of the most important of the 1,162 quangos that provide us with so much and employ 714,430 people [as of yesterday]. As the government embarks on the great bonfire of the quangos, we have to ask, how will we manage without the British Potato Council and/or the Milk Development Board, or the Government Decontamination Service - responsible for removing troublesome back-benchers, I assume?
It is obvious that our new coalition government is examining every option in its attempts to deal with the debts. We will have to see how the cookie crumbles.
Now, about the Cookie & Puddings Marketing Board .................
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