It's time now to discuss a real major issue. Why can't the world manage to make proper toilet paper; loo rolls that do not disintegrate and are not constructed of paper like so much silk-like gossamer that could float zephyr-like on the soft summer air. I have tried rolls of high and low price, in different colours, made by a dozen different companies and stocked in six supermarket chains, But it makes no difference, the stuff falls to pieces with a minimum of stress. Why? Do we have to go back to the smooth, rough, tough Izal medicated toilet tissue so beloved of colonels who grew up on the North West Frontier; assuming it is still available anywhere. The Carbolic Soap Co. in Bromley, Kent - surely people who would know - tells us that Izal tissues and rolls are no longer available. And if they cannot be obtained in Bromley, where can they be obtained?
It seems that manufacturers of soft, fluffy, delicate toilet tissues have lost the plot and forgotten what is the exact purpose of toilet rolls. Or is it a Health & Safety issue. Most things that are not matters of the human rights of thugs, crooks and asylum seekers come down to Health & Safety issues in the end. Such issues have lead to the cancellation of the Gloucestershire cheese rolling festival at Brockworth because, say the organisers, too many people have been coming to watch. This event has gone on for over 300 years without much more than a few cuts and bruises among the contestants but now the risks are too great. Plans are underway for an event in 2011 but it may have to be moved somewhere with less risk of crowds of people and less constrained by the tortured thinking of local bureaucrats and the H&S executive; the upper slopes of The Andes is a distinct possibility.
If you do find any robust, effective and soft toilet rolls, do let me know!
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